


come back to me

by crazyqueerecrivain



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 20:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10544032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyqueerecrivain/pseuds/crazyqueerecrivain
Summary: CADMUS takes Supergirl out. Lena copes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> my goal is 100% to make you tear up and be sad. forewarned. i'm sorry. (okay not that sorry but still)

It’s not real. Nothing is real. The apartment is dark, darker than Kara would ever let it be, even at night, but Kara isn’t here. It can’t be real. She’s coming home. She’s coming home. She’s coming home. She’s not. If Lena hadn’t spent the past week crying, a tear may have rolled down her face. She pulls a piece of the cape wrapped around her body to her face. “Please Kara,” She whispers, her voice cracking at even the lowest volume level. “Please come back to me.” She’s out of tears. She’s out of tears. She’s out of tears. She’s not. 

 

Lena chokes back tears as Potsticker approaches, nuzzling his scar ridden muzzle gently into Lena’s lap. Through the tears, Lena finds herself smiling for the first time since it happened as she thinks about the first time she saw him. His name had been 241; they hadn’t even cared to give him a proper name. He had been rescued from a dog fighting ring, where he was one of the smallest dogs, marked a bait dog. The bigger dogs tore him to pieces repeatedly just to boost their confidence. He was put into a high kill shelter just because he was scared of  _everything_. Lena knew the feeling. When she saw his photo on their website, she called Kara and they adopted him on the spot. 

 

“He’s not friendly you know. He hates other dogs.” The man at the shelter had said condescendingly. “He’s a  _project_ dog” He said it like being a project was the worst thing a dog could be. 

 

Lena didn’t think Kara’s tone could get as sharp as it has. “That’s okay, we’re project people” Kara had growled and yanked the dogs leash from the man, careful not to disturb the frightened dog. “C’mon Potsticker, let’s take you home.”

 

Lena had laughed. That laugh that only Kara has ever been able to evoke. “Potsticker?” Kara had smiled. She smiled that smile that made Lena’s’ heart explode every time. This was her person. This was their dog. This was her family.

 

Potsticker had warmed up to them nearly immediately. He always needs some extra reassurance, and the dishwasher and vacuum still really freak him out, but he loves them, loves Lena now. “She’s not coming home buddy.” Lena’s voice is thick with tears as she talks to the dog, who jumps onto the couch and lays as much of himself as he can in lena’s lap.

 

Alex Danvers [11:32] : Girls’ night?

 

She doesn’t need to guess what the text means because she knows. She knows. Alex isn’t doing so great either. Kara was Lena’s partner, Lena’s love, Lena’s world, but Kara was also Alex’s baby sister, Alex’s responsibility, Alex’s childhood partner in crime. At times Lena feels guilty because Alex has lost so much, maybe even more than Lena. At times Lena feels angry, because Alex got Kara for so much longer, but not now. Now, Lena knows what Alex needs, and truth be told its what Lena needs too. 

 

Lena Luthor [11:34] : Be there in ten. 

 

“Off you go bud.” Lena pushes Potsticker gently off her lap, only to be met with him pawing at her legs. A pang of guilt bubbles in Lena’s stomach. She knows his abandonment fears have bubbled up since Kara hasn’t come home. She knows. She knows. She knows, but she needs tonight. “Sorry Potsticker, people only tonight. I’ll be back later okay.” She wraps the cape gently around the black and white pit bull, who whines. “I know little man, I miss her too.” With a kiss to the dogs head, Lena slips on her shoes and heads out.

 

* * *

 

If Lena were to guess, Alex is on her third drink by the time Lena gets there. They drink together. They have almost every night since it happened. Since Kara was stolen from them. They both need to dull the ache and the pain that always nags at them and reminds them that they’ve lost someone irreplaceable, but neither wants to be alone. They drink and they drink and they drink. Lena loses track of how many times her drink is being refilled. 

 

At some point Maggie shows up, pulling Alex away, trying desperately to do anything to help Alex cope, trying desperately to help Alex stay healthy and love herself even after Kara is gone. Lena knows that Alex blames herself for Kara’s death, but she knows it’s not Alex’s fault. It’s Lena’s. She just  _had_ to throw that gala, to come out against CADMUS and all other anti-alien organizations. Kara had insisted on Supergirl being there for security. Lena swallows her tears and takes another drink to keep them away. She can’t cry anymore, not in public, she won’t. 

 

A gentle hand on her back makes Lena jump. No one cares about her enough to place their hand so softly and so gently on her back, not anymore. “Lena,” J’onn’s voice isn’t pitiful, nor disappointed, just soft, soft and laced with understanding. He knows. He knows. He knows. He knows. He knows the pain. He lost his wife, lost his family in the Green Martian Genocide. He lost his world when he escaped from Mars. He is all too familiar with the pain Lena feels. “Can I help you get home?” Lena searches for the judgment in his voice because the only one who has ever spoken to her truly without judgment is Kara. Kara. Kara. Kara, and now Kara is gone. She’s a  _Luthor_ though and she showed people that she thought she got a happily ever after. She was out with her girlfriend in public. Everyone must be judging her for thinking she got something she was never allowed to have. Yet, J’onn’s voice holds none of that. He’s soft and his voice shows only understanding; his eyes scream that he knows the pain and he just wants to help, so Lena lets him. She let’s J’onn steady her and lead her back to her car. She lets J’onn help her into the passenger seat and she let’s him drive her home. She lets J’onn walk her up the stairs and she hands him her keys and let’s him open the door. She lets him help her to her bedroom, trailed  by a wiggling Potsticker, so happy that his mom is home. She lets him kiss her on the forehead goodnight and she almost believes him when he tells her she’s not alone. 

 

Potsticker jumps into bed with Lena, but in his mouth he holds a sweatshirt. She hasn’t seen it in forever, and to be honest at first she’s not even positive it’s the sweatshirt she thinks it is. Sure enough when she takes it from his mouth and Potsticker curls into her side, the sweatshirt reads “Midvale High PE Dept.” in big block letters. It had been Alex’s first, and when she went off to college, it became Kara’s favorite. Tentatively, Lena smells it. Immediately she’s hit with happy memories; it smells like Kara. She puts it carefully between herself and Potsticker and for the first time since Kara dies, Lena doesn’t wake up to a nightmare, and Potsticker wags his crooked tail in his sleep.


End file.
